i'm horrible at keeping up with things

like following through on flossing.
and keeping up with this blog.
i did a better job of keeping up on my dead journal at age 16 or threads that i made on pahardcore years ago.
now, i have to find time to sit down and jot down some things TYPING. i don't even need to find paper and a pen. it's so easy, but so hard.

speaking of keeping up with things, the gym thing. yeah...that's a toughy too. :( it bums me out as well because i do enjoy going, but it's a pain in the ass. like now, for example. i'm sitting here in my gym gear and i need to muster the energy to get up, put on shoes, get water, drive 3 blocks in 100 degree heat to the gym and run for a few miles. THEN, when i get home, it's making a sensible dinner and stuffing it in my gullet. SO much work.

what i actually want to do is sit and read the new chelsea handler book. i just got it yesterday and i'm about 90 pages in. i also still have accounting stuff for work that i have to get done since no one else will do it and i'd have to double check it anyway. see...now i'm contemplating just going to the gym in the morning. UGH.

it's halfway through the summer so i can't use the "swimsuit season" motivation. right now, it's the "you signed up for a half marathon in november, so you'd better be able to run it" motivation. i think that it's about 120 days away. that's plenty of time, right?

what to do...what to do...

oh, and i guess my mouse battery finally died. that's cool too, i guess. and of course, the batteries that *I* have aren't the right size and i *can* use the track pad on my laptop, but it's small and annoying. yeah, i'm going to keep bitching about this, just because i can.

new year. new beginnings. new goals.

So where did i leave off...oh yeah, i was training for 5ks way back when...i ran 3: the susan g komen race for a cure, the 5k for the women's half marathon and the iron girl 5k. finished them all in about 45 minutes, ran 75-80% of them and was pretty pleased. then bowl season hit...i started working 80 hours a week, went through a breakup and was eating whatever i could, when i could and i had zero time to get to the gym, so the pounds added up along with the wine, the emotions and the stress.

enter: the new year.

this year i have some goals set:

- running more races, including the half marathon in november

- saving money (yeah, i say this every year and fail miserably...damn you, sales)

- finding a job in my field or something close to it

- getting home more than once

today was the first day of the new year that i could actually go to the gym and i was pleasantly surprised with my workout. i managed to run/walk 2.5 miles relatively easily. i was expecting to be a lot more out of shape, but it felt really good to get back on the treadmill. 

i also had one of the regular boxing guys ask me where i've been. i was kinda surprised that someone actually noticed that i had been m.i.a. for the last month and a half. 

and then my favorite (said with a slight tinge of sarcasm) bowl season ticket holder emailed me today. after exchanging a few messages, he told me that the day after thanksgiving, he lost his oldest son (age 27) unexpectedly. i don't know exactly what happened, but damn it makes me think if i'm living each day like it could be my last. there are days when i go to bed angry or upset about something and if i didn't wake up the next day, would my loved ones read my last facebook status about going to bed pissed? i just don't want to leave this world with a sour taste in my mouth...which makes me want to complete all of my goals even more. 

it just makes me dig a little deeper and really think about myself and what i'd be leaving behind and what people would say about me and what i'd want them to remember. god, life is short...

Why this blog exists.

I love food. Period. Food (and booze) is the reason for my gut. Some wouldn't call it a gut. I call it a gut and I don't like it.

I'm 3 days shy of 26 and I know that thinking that I could still look like 16 year old me is completely ludicrous, but is it so bad to want to look good in clothes (and out of them for that matter)? 

Being the pesce variety of vegetarian throws another curve into the mix. How do you get protein and eat food that tastes good, but isn't total shit when it goes through your gullet? (Also, I AM NOT one of those veggie types who will pick pepperoni off of pizza or turkey off of subs and I am also not the type of veggie who lives on pasta and carrots alone. That's bird food.)

Then I look at my roommate who is hands down, a certified granola guy. He makes his own trail mix, has all of his veggies pre-cut in tupperware in the fridge the week before and he drinks a chocolate protein shake every morning out of his cute little sippy sports bottle. I also refuse to be one of those eaters who only eats for nutrition and the food lacks any taste or flavor. No thanks. I'd rather not eat. 

In about a month, I'm going to Miami with one of my good friends (and first friends) from college. She looks smoking hot pretty much all of the time. (Manhattan will do that to a girl..) And my goal for the next month (and beyond) is to lose about 10 lbs  by the time my trip rolls around (not achieved solely by dieting, but also a regular and rigorous gym regimen) and be eating better and more regularly. 

This blog is going to be almost my confessional for the days I skip the gym, have too many snacks, drink a soda, etc. It's going to be my proof that I can either do this or stay plump trying. (I'm hoping for the former.) It's going to increase my accountability and be a distraction for me from running across the street for a footlong instead of munching on some nuts. 

Healthy suggestions that don't suck are always welcome as well as some moral and emotional encouragement...especially when I am tempted to skip the gym.